7 Quick Takes: Reading List

Sign of the Apocalypse: I’m organized enough to come up with 7 things to say on a Friday.

1.

A reader sends in a link to Diary of a Gold-Digger.  I liked the Morocco stories especially.  Look forward to reading more.

2.

I keep forgetting to pass on that Dan Castell’s second installment in the Marx Brothers series is out.  Excerpted from The Marx Brothers Meet the Doctors of Death:

“I do have this.” Groucho pulls up his shirt and exposes a fine swath of swarthy tummy.
“Und what is that supposed to be?”
“It’s a rub that itches when I scratches.”
“Ach,” says Dr. Mangler, “a rub that itches when you scratches is simple schtuff. You haff the acute dermatitis.”
“Acute dermatitis!” Groucho cries. “And me…so young…so much undone…so many dames still to fun. Acute dermatitis—and I thought it was just an itch.”
“Ja,” says Dr. Mangler, “that is what I haff said. Acute dermatitis—you haff an itch.” He pulls out a prescription pad, scribbles a scrawl, and hands it to Groucho. “Here, that should help.”
“My prescription!?”
“Nein, mein bill. Fifty dollars, please.”
“I thought you said this would help.”
“Of course fifty dollars helps. You don’t think scalpels grow on trees, do you?”

My boy loves this guy.  Also available at Barnes & Noble.

3.

Speaking of the boy, do you know why I have an inordinate fondness for the Young Chesterton series?  Because the other night I go check on the progress of homework.  Recall the child is supposed to be writing a review of Emperor of North America for his composition assignment, so he isn’t being a total slacker when I catch him with both novels open.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“I’m looking something up.  I thought the ‘Oliver’ character might be the Oliver from Oliver Twist.  I had to check and see.”

That’s why.  Basically if it makes you think about Dickens, in a good way, I’m okay with that.

4.

Grammar Girl is my new favorite grammar book.

5.

I put new blogs into my feed reader all the time, and sometimes I forget where they came from.  I clicked on Servant of Truth, which had something or another about a history curriculum the author was putting together, or, oh, gosh, where did I hear about this blog from?  Who is this person?  I click through for a clue.

Oh yeah.  Kolbe.  Idiot.

Have I mentioned I would have been sunk this fall without their ready-made course plans?  You begin to see why.

6.

Okay I am not that organized.  No apocalypse.

7.

And anyway, my five counts as seven if you give Castell and McNichol each credit for two.

Think eternally, shop locally

Sarah R. on Reasons to Support Your Local Catholic Bookstore.

Yes.  Yes.

If there is not a local store you are able to shop at, mail order is the next best thing. For that reason, I’m 100% behind all catholic retailers.  But you’ve got to support your local shop, because they do a work the mail-order folks can’t do.  Mine:

• Provides real live friendly clerks to answer questions about the faith from passersby.
• Opens a whole world of catholic thought to people who just stopped in a for a first-communion card.
• Lets you look at the books!  It’s way easier to size up a book in person than on the pc.
• Supports local catholic events with a bookshop presence.
• Turns out for parish sales, allowing Catholics who would never even know great Catholic books exist to browse at their leisure.
• Provides a venue for authors to sell books and meet readers.
• Offers free book study courses — authentic, faithfully Catholic religious ed that reaches an audience your parish may not be equipped to teach.

This is not a profit-making venture.  No one is getting rich stocking GKC and nun-of-the-month calendars. Book stores have miserable margins, small dealers face higher costs than the big guys, and the Catholic niche is tiny.  These shops are run as a ministry.

If you knew your parish religious education program was evangelizing hundreds of non-Catholics and fallen-away Catholics, wouldn’t you put a few bucks into the special collection for that ministry?

If your parish had a full-time staff person whose only job was to answer questions about the faith from people too shy to darken the door of a church, don’t you think a little contribution towards that person’s puny salary would be in order?

Support your local Catholic bookstore.

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Here are the ones I know about in my corner of the universe:

St. Anthony’s in Greenville and Spartanburg

St. Francis Shop in Columbia

Pauline Books and Media in Charleston

UPDATED to add:

Queen of Peace Bookstore in Vancouver, WA

If you know of others, please add them in the combox.  Or write a post with your own links.

 

Booklet Review: The Mass Explained for Kids

The Mass Explained for Kids is my latest Catholic Company review item, and as usual it is a good one.  I’ll cut to the chase: This is an excellent tool for anyone who wants to make sense of the Mass.

What it is: A short, affordable booklet from Pauline Press that walks through the new translation of the Mass.  Even-numbered pages contain the text of the Mass and all the necessary instructions (sit, stand, kneel, rise, bow, beat chest, shut up priest says . . ., etc.).  On the facing page are notes explaining what is happening, what difficult vocabulary words mean,  and all kinds of other useful information.

Why I like it:

1. I’m always looking for a good Missal to give to non-Catholic grown-ups who come to Mass, that makes it easy to follow along.  This one wouldn’t stand out as a kid’s book, if you put a sticker over the “for kids” on the cover.  At $1.95 retail, you can afford to send them home with your guests as souvenirs.  It would be pretty easy to put post-it notes at key places when your guest needs to pick up the hymnal.
2. The explanations are great.  Tons of good info.  But the format makes it easy to read as much as your brain can take, and leave the rest for another day.
3. There are definitions or explanations for all the new words showing up with the new translation (“consubstantial”, “incarnate”, etc.).  In addition, all the changes are in bold face.

Who is it for?  People who can read pretty well.   Other than the cover art, there are no pictures.  All the explanations are written clearly, and my very average-reading 4th grader says she had no difficulty understanding them.  But you do need to be ready to tackle big words and gather useful information from your reading.    Words like “epiclesis” and “anamnesis” have pronunciations (“ep-ih-CLEE-sis” and “an-am-NEE-sis”).

Useful for catechists?  Absolutely.  The format makes it super easy to find the info you need for class, and the explanations are already translated into plain English.  Much easier than tearing through a pile of Scott Hahn books trying to remember where you found that quote that one time, and/or trying to translate The Catechism into something ordinary mortals can understand.  Plus I learned some things I didn’t know.

Other important info:  It’s 5.5″ x 8.5″, with a flexible heavy-paper cover, very trim, so designed to be stuffed into your purse in doled out during Mass.  But note the cover is not paperboard, so don’t let the baby put it in her mouth. Also there’s some info about the Daughters of St. Paul in the back, who have got to have the coolest charism in the universe.  Nuns that run bookstores and a publishing company.  How awesome is that?

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Thanks to the Catholic Company for filling the mailboxes of bloggers with excellent products; this one is coming to Mass with us this Advent, no question about it.   In addition to asking for an honest review (check), our sponsor would like me to also tell you that if you need a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible, they sell those too.

More uses for vegetable peelers: Parmesan Cheese

If I had to choose between running water and a vegetable peeler, I’m not sure which one I’d pick.

Anyhow, here’s last night’s discovery:

We already knew that slivers of parmesan cheese taste better than slices.  Thinner = more flavorful.

Certain people are not reliable with a paring knife.  For necessary thinness.

Vegetable peelers are designed for shaving slivers.

It works!  Block of Parmesan + Vegetable Peeler =  Fluffy Pile of Parmesan Slivers.  Fast.  And then it is so easy to pretend to be generous to the cheese vultures, because each 1” x 2″ sliver is only a minuscule portion of your cheese pile.

 

Some discoveries are too good not to share.  Now returning to the regularly scheduled Not A Cooking Blog.

Love you cannot feel.

 

SuperHusband was out of town the other night, so about nine o’clock he phoned. When he is home, at nine we put everything away, and then talk to each other until ten. It takes about half an hour of steady effort for a conversation to really get going, but most nights it is hard to go to bed at ten, because we are enjoying each other’s company.

The phone is not this way. We each give a quick summary of our day, discuss any topics that require spousal input, and then that’s it. Like a business call. Only with two tired people who already did enough business that day.

“I love you,” he says.

“I love you,” I say.

And then we hang up.

And I thought to myself as I put down the phone, “Really? Do we love each other?”

We say it automatically. Maybe when he said it to me, he was feeling all warm and fond and grateful inside. Doubtful. But possible. I was feeling tired and distant and still a trace irritable from my lousy mood the day before.

 It is like water, the answer came immediately. Like warm water.

When you stick your hand in warm water, you notice it. Before, cold. After, warm. Ahh, you say. So nice.

After a while, you don’t feel it any more. The water is still warm, but now so are you. If you were to pull yourself out, you would suddenly feel very cold. But while you are in, you don’t notice the warm. You don’t notice anything. It’s just where your hand is.

To be swimming in love. Love so reliable, so steady, you can’t even feel it anymore. Happy.

Bleg – Which Collegiate Dictionary?

Anybody have a collegiate dictionary you particularly like?  I’m thinking of getting the boy his own for Christmas.  I cringe every time he gets near mine.  (Though the packing-tape reinforced spine should hold up, I keep telling myself.)  Also he keeps complaining he wants to know the meaning of words less than 50 years old.

What use a Classics Degree?

Darwin answers the question:

This isn’t because a degree in the humanities is “useless”. I believe that learning Greek, Latin, history and philosophy was very useful to me. But it was useful to me in the sense that a liberal art is meant to be useful — in allowing one to think like a “free man”. It is not useful in the sense of providing instant and easy employment. I think that it would be helpful if colleges and departments were a little more honest about this. It would also be very, very helpful if people took it into account before blithely borrowing large amounts of money. (And if people were less blithe about borrowing so much money in order to fund college degrees, perhaps the absurd rate of tuition increase would slow down. You may be assured that one of the things allowing universities to make off like bandits is that people have the illusion that having a degree, any degree, is an automatic ticket to a “good job”.)

He also confirms that Rush Limbaugh is not a classicist.  Apparently people were confused on that point.

***

Meanwhile, Archbishop Chaput demonstrates how to use such an education.  From his “On Being Human in an Age of Unbelief”:

That leads to my fourth and final point. The pro-life movement needs to be understood and respected for what it is: part of a much larger, consistent, and morally worthy vision of the dignity of the human person. You don’t need to be Christian or even religious to be “pro-life.” Common sense alone is enough to make a reasonable person uneasy about what actually happens in an abortion. The natural reaction, the sane and healthy response, is repugnance.

The whole thing is excellent, and eminently readable.  Print it out and read it on paper, because it merits sitting down and giving it your full attention.  Great essay to discuss with your high school or college student.

 

Logic, Criticism, & the 99%

There are two critiques of the 99% movement that I’ve seen floating around, that I wanted to address.  The first is this:

“You are criticizing capitalism, but you own a __[insert name of product manufactured by said capitalists]___”

There’s a little bit of truth in this criticism: Obviously someone who owns a smart phone isn’t secretly longing to run away and join the Amish.  (Who are capitalists, by the way.  They just aren’t no-holds-barred, if-I-can-than-it-is-good capitalists.)

But I think the criticism also points to a bigger problem: Consumers do not bear the primary responsibility for the behavior of their suppliers.  It is the job of the supplier to be a responsible employer and manufacturer.  A boycott is a useful tool, but it is one that only works at the extremes, when there is a known, egregious violation.  I can’t possibly know the inner workings of every manufacturer whose products I consume.  It is too big a task.  And to simply Boycott Everything and go be Amish is not the solution (unless you just want to be Amish, a worthy pursuit but not a universal vocation); boycotting every manufactured good also hurts honest employers and employees.

And then there’s the question of how evil is too evil?  Again, boycotting is a great tool for serious, longstanding, public offenses.  But it would be entirely reasonable, say, for someone who hired me to both say, “Jen, you need to come to work on time and get your projects done by deadline,” and at the same time, not fire me because I was five minutes late.  Or ten minutes.  Or an hour.  It’s up to the judgment of my employer to choose what combination of actions are the best way to deal with my transgression.  Entirely reasonable to both reprimand me severely, and keep me in their employ a little longer.  Public protest is the reprimand, boycott is the layoff.

–> In the case of the OWS, since protestors do not themselves have the authority to step in and oversee corporate operations, it is reasonable to insist that the proper authorities do what is necessary.

(We can agree or not on whether those demands have merit.  No one claims the OWS people even agree on these matters.  And I certainly don’t hold with violent protest of any kind.  I only argue here that our criticism of the criticizers ought to stick to logical arguments.)

UPDATE: Darwin points out in the combox that some OWS protesters really do want to dismantle capitalism.  So he is correct, to criticize that portion of the group for using the fruits of capitalism is a legitimate argument. 

 

The second criticism I’m hearing:

“You aren’t poor.  You have all this great stuff like running water and cell phones.  Quit complaining.”

What is the logic behind this kind of accusation:

• If you aren’t the victim, you aren’t allowed to protest injustice?
• If the robber is leaving you with all the stuff you really need, it’s okay if he just slips in and takes off with a few trinkets?
• If your pimp / master / feudal lord sees that your basic needs are met, therefore sex-trafficking / slavery / serfdom are acceptable social structures?
• You aren’t being pimped / enslaved / bound to the land, quit griping that you can’t afford the surgery you need?

Again, this is not a defense of any particular item on the all-purpose protest agenda of the OWS folk.  Only an observation that if you are going to critique someone’s arguments, critique their arguments.  Is there nothing to protest?  Then show that in fact our government is run fairly and efficiently, the needs of the poor are tended to adequately, workers are paid reasonable wages, and there is therefore no need for change of this or that type.

It is both fun and helpful to debate actual economic questions.  So do that.

DMV Follow-up: Catechists and the buildings they like.

Ha, who would have guessed that hidden among the backlog of catechist posts (which you should also read), Christian LeBlanc also has a little post with non-DMV-looking* churches.  To give you ideas. Apparently when he isn’t teaching CCD, he gets to design buildings and stuff.

***

Funny story about a certain space-cadet catechist:

So I was in Aiken, SC, Saturday afternoon and had an hour to spare before meeting a friend for dinner.  I knew from their website that St. Mary’s was now holding weekend masses at the parish hall, but I thought I’d see if the old church building was open and I could just take a peek.  Door was open, but when I looked through the windows in the vestibule doors into the nave of the church, there were evidently people gathered there for some kind of service.  A handful of ladies in chapel veils in the pews, someone praying at the tabernacle, and a few more clustered along one of the walls.  Very silent. Intent.  Maybe they were praying the Stations of the Cross?  I couldn’t see everything happening.

A cleric appeared out the sacristy, bowed at the altar, walked to the rear of the church and out of sight.  No one else moved.  Finally one of the ladies in the pew got up and left with a handful of children.  I whispered, “Is there some kind of service going on?”

“Yes,” she answered.  “Confession.”  And of course encouraged me to go on in . . .

Not DMV. St. Mary's Help of Christians Church, Aiken, SC. It is more beautiful than this, but you get the idea. Not my picture, h/t to the St. Mary's website people. Click this image for more.

See all that blue and gold squiggly stuff on the ceiling up front?  Here’s a flyer that tells you what it all is.

 

***

Even cooler: After I was finished being amazed at how much more beautiful St. Mary’s is than I had  remembered, back outside I overheard a church-mom telling a big kid, “I’m going to go into the adoration chapel for a few minutes.”

“Adoration?”

Yes indeed. I have no photo for you.  But the little St. Clare chapel is everything an adoration chapel ought to be.  If you are in Aiken, go.  Go go go.  Fabulous.  Only open to the public during daylight hours.

 

 

 

*That’s the technical term.  You might be more comfortable with the vernacular “Romanesque,” though of course that is just one of a multitude of non-DMV styles.

Book Review – Emporer of North America

John McNichol kindly sent me a review copy of his new  Young GKC book, and I keep forgetting that I still have not posted a full review.  I also keep forgetting to get Mr. Boy to write his review.  Mine is here for you now.

What it is: Emperor of North America is the second in the series, following Tripods Attack.  It’s an alternative history in which Young GK Chesterton is an American trying to make it as a journalist in steampunk England.  In book one, Martians invade.  In book two, Martians are back to Mars (for now?), but there is big trouble from a certain earthling who’s gotten hold of martian technology.  If I were to give it a sub-genre, I’d vote “fast-paced epic catholic action-adventure alternate history”.

Who reads it:  Mr. Boy was, my goodness, eight? really?, when he read the first book.  Thereabouts.  He’s not a normal reader.  I’d vote 10-11 is the earliest normal boy age, or whenever your child picks up Lord of the Rings and won’t put it down.  Target audience is middle school and up.  [Young GKC doesn’t require nearly the endurance you’d need for epic Tolkien.  You do need to be able to read big words and keep track of a complex plot, but the writing is very action-packed, doesn’t bog down at all.]  Grown-ups who enjoy a good story will find plenty of fodder for the intellect — GKC quotes, literary references, and of course trying to figure out the intrigue.

Mature Content Rating: Mild PG for the violence.  Language is clean (expletives like “blast!”, and all sorts of genuinely colorful but never off-color insults).  The romance and discussions of romance are clean as you could manage and still get close enough to kiss; my 11-year-old tells me he just skips those parts anyway, which are written for young men who think girls are no longer gross.  The evil violence is chilling, but there’s no lingering on graphic descriptions, and despite the intensity of the opening pages, the overall proportion of such scenes throughout the book is modest.  (FYI, the alien scenes in Tripods are super gross.  Not for squeamish middle-aged ladies.  But no trouble for boys.)  There’s a couple of bar scenes, including a cautionary tale about drunkenness.

What if  steampunk and/or sci-fi are not my genre?  The GKC is awesome.  McNichol recreates young GKC superbly.  The other historical and literary references are just as good, and fun to figure out.  Some have, like GKC, an alternate past, and I was especially impressed with how McNichol nailed the “What if _________ hadn’t _________?” with one of the main characters.  Just perfect.  Loved it.

[FYI: All my friends love sci-fi, but I think it is kind of boring.  I do not find this series boring, not for a second. More like, “fighting with my son over who gets to read it first,” and “I know I should go to bed, but . . . .”  My taste in fiction runs to Agatha Christie, Ellis Peters, Jane Austen, John Grisham, Tom Clancy, etc.  And Wodehouse, of course.  If you sort of mash those together, the young GKC series fits right in.]

What if GK Chesterton and literary puzzlers are not my genre?  There’s spaceships.  Giant robots.  Chase scenes.  Intrigue.  Mysterious pasts.  John McNichol is really good at writing action.  And bad guys.  I’m going to see if I can’t beg him to teach a class on writing bad guys at the next CWG online conference.

Who shouldn’t read this book?  People who have to be so serious about everything. Also if you can’t stand genre fiction.

I heard it is ‘preachy’. Um, no.  Catholic? Yes.  I suppose it’s one of the troubles with a book written by a guy who teaches middle school — normal teens talk about love, God, angels, apparitions, all that stuff.  It’s only adults who think these things are taboo. I *think* non-Catholics who are comfortable with Catholic characters being noticeably Catholic should be okay; someone correct me if you disagree, I haven’t read it with a protestant lens on.   [I’ll post an update on that if need be.] Most of the could-be-preachy stuff is things like “what’s the difference between love and infatuation?” or “is religion merely a crutch for the despicable weak?” — topics of general interest, not strictly Catholic.

Final Recommendation?  I give it a ‘buy’ recommend if there’s room in your book budget and the genre sounds at all interesting.  It’s very readable, and McNichol has the keep-the-plot-moving thing down pat.  I do strongly recommend you buy both in the series if you haven’t already read Tripods.

Where to get your copy: Barnes and Noble has Emperor of North America in stock in paperback and Nook version, and Tripods Attack in paperback.  Amazon has Emperor in paperback and Kindle version, take a look at the Kindle preview to get started on the story and see if you want to buy.  Amazon has Tripods in the Kindle version, and again the Kindle preview is your reality-check.

Sophia originally published Tripods, and I see they have it back in stock in paperback.  This has brought back down used prices, which had briefly gone silly-high — shop around on B&N and Amazon if your budget is tight, ignore the weird artifacts floating in the cybermall.   Bezalel is the publisher for Emperor, and you can buy the print version direct on their site.  (As I write, Bezalel is offering free shipping on McNichol’s book — nice!)

Aquinas & More has copies of Tripods in stock (paperback — and you can add it to your wedding or ordination registry, I love that), and so does The Catholic Company (no registry, write Santa I guess).  But if you love all that is good and true, of course you will first ask if it can’t be stocked via your local Catholic bookstore.  They can order these things, you know.

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Things you  need to know re: the famous ‘full disclosure’: I’m a total Tripods/Emperor groupie.  The kind of person who gathers up godchildren and treks across town to get a book signed, and totally thinks that is the highlight of a trip to the Pacific Northwest.  The whole “my niece is being confirmed” was just a pretext — I mean, yes, sacraments were administered, relatives visited, every good thing.  But wow!  A signed copy! Yes! Pizza with Author & Family! Woohoo!  Also John writes for the Catholic Writers Guild blog, and generally gives evidence of being a Pretty Nice Guy.  But you may recall from ancient blog history that I liked the first book long before I had any reason to like the author.