7 Takes: What to Wear Next Summer, a fabric tutorial

You might be thinking right now, “She is very late to the game, writing about summer fabrics in November.”  Or perhaps, “Trying to spike that Southern Hemisphere readership?”

On the contrary.  Studies have shown that readers at this blog are the type of people who are (a) expected to be presentable some of the time, (b) don’t / can’t pay full retail, and (c) live in parts of the world that have weather.  If that’s you, now is the time to purchase on clearance the summery items you wished you had last summer, if only you had known.

1. This is not fashion advice.  All I ask is that you go about clothed.  Think: Less naked than a lizard, but not necessarily covering as much flesh as a chow chow.  I don’t really care how tacky your tastes are, I just don’t want to know very much about your rear end.

All natural fibers, but too much insulation for summer.

2. We need to talk about Mary.  Mary of Nazareth, mother of our Lord, bona fide Modestly Dressed Person.  This is what you need to know: She lived in the desert.

Desert = Dry Place.  (Sometimes hot, too.)

If you live in the Southeastern United States, or some similar climate where your erstwhile hockey team is called the “Inferno”, or your city’s motto is “Famously Hot”, you do not live in the desert.

Inferno = Not a Dry Heat.

In the desert, the most practical summer wardrobe looks like this:

One of my best friends is Tuareg.

It is easy to dress modestly in the desert.

In contrast, people who live recreate in one of these sweat houses usually do it naked, or nearly so:

The South is like this, only with no snow to roll in after.

So, the rest of our takes are about how to dress during the Sauna Season at your place of residence, on those days when being naked is not a realistic option (hint: Lizards are naked). I will not make jokes if you think Sauna Weather is only 90 degrees; if you’re not used to it, it does feel warm, doesn’t it?  So people who live in cooler climates, where the hottest season is “Summer” (we have that in October, it’s lovely, but in June – Sept we have “Sauna”) can also appreciate this PSA.

3. Rule #1: Natural Fabrics = cotton or linen or wool.  You could count silk, but that’s out of our budget here.  This is what you want.  OR cotton.  OR linen. OR wool.  I am told there exist ultra-modern breathable synthetics, have at it if you like.  But your polyester “linen look” special is not linen and it is not cool.  You will sweat buckets and swear that nudity is your only choice.  Not so.  Stick to the rule.

Rayon and all that other stuff is right out.  Yes, that’s 98% of the “summer dress” department.  A flowery print does not turn plastic into cotton. Also, head’s up, “bamboo” sounds natural, but it’s typically a bizarre synthetic yarn that happens to have bamboo junk in it.  That’s not what you want.

4. Rule #2 Blended Fabrics are an Evil Invention. I once read a description of a cotton-linen blend as being “absorbent like cotton but breathable like linen”.  This is a lie.  A big fat nasty lie that will make you so sweaty the Tauregs will have pity on you.  Don’t buy it.  Just no.

Here’s the scoop:  A single lay of natural fabric (OR cotton, OR linen, OR wool) is breathable.  When you blend two fabrics, what happens is this, pretend your body is on one side and air is on the other of our letter-fabrics below, for this poetic demonstration of how two fibers lock together like champion Red Rover players:

Unblended = l l l l l  = air can get through.

Unblended = c c c c c = air can get through.

Blended = lclclclc = do you hear evil laughter in the background? I do.  Also, you’re sweating something nasty.

5. Trick for making your summer fabrics into winter fabrics: Layer them.  If you own a nice cool linen shirt, and another nice cool linen shirt, put one on top of the other, and you will own a nice warm double-layer shirt.  You can layer several very breathable, let-the-breeze-through fabrics, and end up with wind-blocking fabric.

Neat trick, huh?  Which means your summery linen skirt is something you could wear in the winter, too.  Handy.

6. Rule #3: Gauzy Fabrics Are a Cruel Trick.  It goes like this: You want to be cool in the summer.  You buy this beautiful gauzy-thin chambray (100% cotton) shirt.  It is in fact quite cool.  Also, the fabric is so thin that everyone can tell by looking through your clothing whether you are a boy or a girl.  So you put a nice cool cotton camisole / undershirt under your gauzy fabric, so that people have to use other clues, like looking at your face, to learn personal things about you.

Now you’ve just turned your summer clothes into winter clothes, see previous item.

Other cruel tricks:

“Linen Blazer, fully lined”

“Linen skirt, fully lined”

Wool follows the same rule as linen and cotton. So don’t be mocked by “summer weight wool” that is “fully lined with tafetta lining”.  You might as well call it, “Summer weight wool fully insulated for blizzard.”  But plain old wool, like a 100% wool cardigan, is not a bad summer fabric.  If you have to throw something over your shoulders and your choices are a light wool or a light polyester, the wool will be cooler and way more breathable than the poly.

7. So, what you are looking for on the clearance rack are:

(A) 100% Cotton, or 100% Linen, or 100% Wool

(B) Unlined, no blends.

(C) Sturdy enough of a fabric that you can wear a single layer, and not need anything underneath.

You will still sweat, if it’s actually that hot out. You do live in a Sauna, after all.  (In the desert, you won’t feel the sweat, you’ll just discover patches of salt forming on your skin.) You still need to follow common sense rules like putting on a sunhat (real straw, or following the fabric rules above), taking advantage of the shade, drinking cool water, and replacing electrolytes.  But if you are wearing a single layer of natural fabrics, your sweat will in fact cool your body, because air flow => evaporation.

–> In contrast, if you wear a cute little synthetic mini-dress on account of how hot it is, basically you’re putting on a shortie wetsuit. No evaporation => layer of moisture acts like insulation.  Appropriate for the cold, cold ocean, not so great for a summer picnic.

Men of Varanasi Do Not Wear Polyester Mini-Dresses.

Modesty with Dr. P, part 2

Dr. Greg responds to my comments here, and they are worth a good long look.

Meanwhile, deep in his post he writes this:

So, am I saying that a woman, or man for that matter, should dress any damn way they want without regard for anyone around them?  Should we all parade around naked defying the world to look upon us with purity of mind and heart?  Of course not.  We are all fallen.  Even though we can’t cause feelings in another person, we know that acting in a certain manner tends to create a certain set of emotional choices for most people, given what is expected in a particular context. Modesty requires that we dress in a manner that we deem appropriate for the context we are in and in a way that is not intended to make it unduly difficult for any reasonable person to see anything other than our physical appearance.

And this is what I want to hear more about.

Modesty and Agency

Dr. Greg Popcack unravels the much-cited bikini study, and sheds some useful light on a point I’ve always suspected: Jerks think differently than decent guys. I haven’t seen the study myself, but I trust he’s reporting accurately — as it happens, what he reports is far more informative than the previous accounts.

***

Now for where we differ.

In the process, Dr. P reveals the fault line in the modesty debates: Those who fall for the “internal control fallacy”, and those, like himself, who think it’s all just a fallacy.  (Conclusion: Ladies, what you wear doesn’t matter so much.  No one’s brought up whether men can do likewise, but you know how I feel about that.)

I find myself in the middle of this divide, and here’s why: I’m a writer.  It’s my job to make people think things.

The thoughts that follow are not a commentary on the technical meaning of the “internal control fallacy” as discussed among experts.  They are a layperson’s thoughts on the closely related notion: Do my actions affect other people’s thinking?

Back up for a moment, and let’s consider Dr. P’s job.  The man makes his living spending long hours helping the family members of crazy people sort out their lives.  And when you live with a crazy person, you live with blaming.  “If only you would do ________, then I wouldn’t be this way.”

The loving, helpful relative tries to meet spec.  If only I were good enough.  If only I had been kinder / more responsible / less irritable / more patient / something – anything – to stave off this dreadful fate.

Crazy people like to blame.  It’s not irrational behavior if there’s a reason for it, right?

An essential part of therapy for the family members is learning how to set boundaries.  It is reasonable for me to go on vacation with my immediate family, and if grandma goes on a drinking binge because I didn’t call in every half hour, that’s not my fault.  It is reasonable for me to go out with the girls once a month, and if Mr. Unfaithful uses my night out as an excuse for his adultery, that’s not my fault.  I can’t control these irrational reactions.  I’m not responsible for someone else’s response to my behavior.

Except when I am.  The other essential part of living with a crazy person is learning what’s normal.  It’s not normal to be furious that so-and-so missed my birthday party (even if I wish she could have come).  It is normal to be upset that so-and-so sent around hate mail to all my facebook friends, keyed my car, and kicked my puppy.  Certain actions should bother me, other ones shouldn’t.

And thus as a writer, I get in trouble if I make people upset when I shouldn’t.  It’s my job to edify, to encourage, even to reprove, but it’s not my job to make people feel like dirt.  Which I could do (and I try not to do).  My words and actions do have power over other people.

Otherwise, why bother?  What good having the ability to act, if my actions do nothing?  What good living in community, if in fact my actions have no meaning or import to the others in my community?  Why avoid evil, if it hurts nobody? Why do good, if it helps nobody?  It ceases to be good or evil.  It’s just nothing.

So the fallacy in the modesty debates is in the false dichotomies, and this is where I depart from Dr. P.  I think that men and women communicate not just with their intentions, but with their actions.  Modesty is an inward disposition, but isn’t only an inward disposition.  It is also an outward action.  A woman can be offended by a man’s immodesty, even if she doesn’t therefore dehumanize or brutalize him.

An employer can reasonably say, “Sir, your dress is immodest, and unbecoming of a man of your profession.  If you’d like to continue working here, you’ll have to change.”

A man can reasonably tell his son, “My beloved child, that outfit you’ve chosen is associated with pimps and crack dealers.  Is that the message you’d like to send with your clothing?”

A girl can reasonably tell her suitor, “You look like a creep.  Like the kind of guy who just wants to hop in the sack at the first opportunity.  That may not be the message you’re trying to send, but you’re sending it.”

***

Part 2, now going off on a different line of thought, that follows from my thoughts above, and is separate from what’s being said in Dr. P’s post.

Can the same action have different meanings across times and places?  Certainly.  The accidental offending-of-the-natives is an enduring sub-genre of the travel narrative.  It is reasonable to question whether customs have changed.  Whether modesty that was once preserved via _________ standard is now preserved in some other manner.

It is also reasonable to propose that certain standards are just plain wrong.  If I visit Fisher More, I’ll of course respect my host’s standards, and think very little of it. I’m not going to quibble over a standard a little more conservatiive than my own.  But If I visit Lower Repressistan, and my hosts expect me to surround myself with drywall lest I upset the the native males, guess what?  They are wrong.

It could be right that skirts ought to go below the knees, it could be right that thank you notes are always handwritten, or that you don’t show up to dinner empty-handed.  But it is definitely not right that women be completely shielded from public view, nor that dinner or a gift requires sexual favors for a thank you.  Those things are wrong.  We can disagree about what is right, and still be quite certain about what is wrong.