Will there be fake news in Heaven?

The IC is having a book-release party for Felon Blames 1970s Church Architecture for Life of Sin. Go take a look.

Someone was asking me yesterday which blogs I follow, and of course I completely blanked out.  (Um, look at my sidebar?).  But I believe I’ve read every single post by the Ironic Catholic since however many years ago it was I discovered the place.   And probably on that day I scrolled through the entire archive.

Intelligent, clean-cut catholic satire that *is* funny and *is not* mean.  How many other writers could sit in the middle of that venn diagram?

the child who is determined to hate Kolbe

Yesterday after I dropped the kids off for Grandma time, a little voice told me to visit the other crack dealer Educational Wonderland.  Sure enough, they had cool little wipe-off books of math facts games and drills for the little guys (yes, I gave my daughter math books for her birthday — she was thrilled), and these:

So today I was thumbing through the new history books, and a certain rising 4th grader comes along and picks one up. “Oh.  Those are the terrible KOLBE books.”  Disgust.  Horror.  How could your mother do this to you?!

“No, darling.  Those are the books I got for you to do instead of the Kolbe book.”

“Oooh!”  Picks up book again.  Actually looks at it.  “Hey, this looks fun!”

Yes dear.  After enough years of living with you, I begin to have a clue, thank you.

–>  I found this year that I really like having all four kids on the same subject.  Not necessarily the same books, just the same general topic.  So for the coming year, I signed up both big kids for Kolbe’s Ancient Rome study, which the boy has already started reading for fun, and the girl is determined to hate, on account of it being called Famous Men of Rome.

Emphasis on Men.  She is not interested in Men.  Plus it is Kolbe, and we all know that Kolbe is Evil.  Even though we have never ever tried it, and plus it looks eerily like what we already study.  But it is to be hated.

Anyhow the plan is for the boy to whiz through the set plan, which he will complain is too easy and plus he already read the book this summer and why does he have to do the dumb workbook, blah blah blah, and look, here’s an Osprey book, let’s read that instead, yes dear on your free time you may.  (And he will.)

The craft-loving 4th grader I’m going to let do the Pockets books first.  Q1 she gets to be the teacher and take the littles through Ancient Civilizations.  That’s only 7 pockets, so 7 weeks, and the last two weeks of the quarter she’ll do some timeline work and then write me a report, which will bring up the grade-level to more her age.  Q2, littles will work through some other ancient Rome / Greece items with me, and my Kolbe-hating darling will do the Ancient Rome Pockets book, which will fill the quarter.

Q3 & Q4 she will finally have to buckle down and be serious, and do Q1 &2 of Famous Men per the Kolbe course plans.  Which should be easier having had the intro in the fall.  If she wants she can read the rest of the book in her free time.  Yes, I will totally let a 4th grader master only half of the history of the Roman Empire.  She’ll see it again one day.  Plus she’ll have the motivation of trying to get a higher score on the test than her brother did.  Which will definitely motivate her.

Went ahead and wrote up next year’s plans for the littles, who are still on the library-book method (not Kolbe — I do too much subbing out at that age, we’d only go crazy).  For science, sticking to my ‘everyone studies the same thing’ approach, I went through the 4th grade science course plans from Kolbe, and assigned the littles to study each week whatever topic the 4th grader will be covering.  So that will be a double bonus, in that they can sit in on her science experiments, and she’ll have a bunch of easy library books sitting around that cover the same thing she is learning in her horrible no-good very bad science book.  (That I think she will like.)

–> If I weren’t worried about the good of various eternal souls, and plus having told the whole internet that lying is wrong, I’d just tell her it wasn’t the Kolbe book, and then she’d love it for sure.

[Mr. Boy will be happy to do science all on his own.  I didn’t try to rope him into the coordinating thing for that.]

So we’ll see how that goes.  I’m hopeful.

****

I’m off tomorrow for ten days of Momcation, visiting the nieces who have the good sense to go to school.  Assuming my abandoned children don’t hack into the blog to show the world their atrocious grade-level spelling, expect blog silence here.  If you are desperate for goofing off in my absence, you can check my side bar links and tell me which ones have gone bad — I found one already, and no I haven’t fixed it yet.

Otherwise, enjoy the quiet.  That’s what I’ll be doing.  And have a blessed Memorial Day.

Bleg – downloadable catholic bible?

UPDATE #2:  Leo in the combox points out that Ignatius Press now has an e-book version of their RSV.  Thank you, Leo!

UPDATE:  Christian LeBlanc kindly e-mailed me these links:

Blue Letter Bible Protestant with great features. 

RSVCE my preferred Catholic Bible for quoting, etc.

BibleGateway all Books Protestant but tons of versions & flexible search engine. I use this to check King James Version for alternate English to RSVCE.

NAB the Bible you hear at Mass. I use this in class most of the time so it will be the same as Mass to the kids, unless I have a particular reason for using another version.

NEW ADVENT BIBLE tritongue Greek, D-R, Vulgate. I use this to check Douay-Rheims for alternate English to RSVCE.

Thank you!!

**************************

(Some of you just got this bleg in your e-mail.)  Anyone have a good catholic e-bible you like?  I am not sure of the needed format, so all suggestions welcome.  It’s for a gift, so it doesn’t have to be a free version.  Thanks!

If you have one you like, tell me all about it.  Recipients are teenagers, if that makes any difference.

The Youcat

So I dropped by my local catholic bookstore yesterday in search of confirmation gifts.  (Got ’em, and they are NOT BOOKS.  The nieces will suspect I am an imposter.)  Shop owner says, “Look over there, we’ve got the new Youcat in.”  Waves toward rack with all the neat items-to-be-promoted.

I smile.  A pained smile.  Um, okay.  Thanks.

Because you do not know how many reviews of this book I have not read.  Many.  If there is someone on that sidebar who wrote a review of the YOUCAT, I saw it and skipped it.  Not interested.  Just not.  Too perky.  What a goofy name.  And plus what’s wrong with the big catechism, ya know?  Do I look fifteen?  No, I do not look fifteen.

So then I wander over to the promo rack, and well, I’ll just take a look at the thing.  Might as well see what it is.  Someone might ask me about it.  My DRE might try to make me use it or something.

Open it up to a random page.  Read a sample.  Told the shop owner, “You just sold a book.”

[She proceeded to sell me two CD’s by playing samples of these guys off her PC while she was at it.  Smart lady.  Crack for catechists.]

Anyway, the story with the Youcat is this:

It translates the Catechism for you.  It’s a quick, easy way to look up the catholic teaching on something, and get answers in words kids can more or less understand.  You still need to understand the teachings of the church yourself.  Big Catechism isn’t going anywhere.  But if you want the words to give to kids?  Here it is.  Plus, if you’re in a hurry, you don’t have to really think about the answers when you look something up.

Compare and contrast . . .  In the big catechism, here’s 1755-1756:

II. GOOD ACTS AND EVIL ACTS

1755 A morally good act requires the goodness of the object, of the end, and of the circumstances together. An evil end corrupts the action, even if the object is good in itself (such as praying and fasting “in order to be seen by men”).

The object of the choice can by itself vitiate an act in its entirety. There are some concrete acts – such as fornication – that it is always wrong to choose, because choosing them entails a disorder of the will, that is, a moral evil.

1756 It is therefore an error to judge the morality of human acts by considering only the intention that inspires them or the circumstances (environment, social pressure, duress or emergency, etc.) which supply their context. There are acts which, in and of themselves, independently of circumstances and intentions, are always gravely illicit by reason of their object; such as blasphemy and perjury, murder and adultery. One may not do evil so that good may result from it.

Here’s the Youcat.  A simplified version of those paragraphs is given, and then this:

The end does not justify the means.  It cannot be right to commit infidelity so as to stabilize one’s marriage.  It is just as wrong to use embryos for stem cell research, even if one could thereby make medical breakthroughs.  It is wrong to try to “help” a rape victim by aborting her child.

What you need to know.  To the point.  Answers the questions students actually ask in class. 

You could leave it lying around for the kids at home to read, too. Or the adults.  And I’ll admit, the sunny cover and all the photos and drawings do make you want to read the thing.  It’s as if someone at the Vatican really really wants people to learn the Catholic faith.  Maybe the guy who wrote the foreward, for example. 

You can order yours directly from Ignatius, stop by your local catholic bookstore if you are a good, holy person who happens to have such a thing nearby, or support one of the blogger-friendly internet retailers such as The Catholic Company (coming soon) or Aquinas and More.  Basically, no excuse not to have one.  Well, okay, don’t go into debt for it.  But aside from that.

Book Review: Why Enough is Never Enough

So I have told you to buy this book about three times now.  But perhaps you were waiting for your tax refund.  Or perhaps you holding out for my official Catholic Company review, because you, too, had noticed I’d utterly forgotten to post it.  Now you will have to think up a new excuse.

The book you want is:  Why Enough is Enough: Overcoming Worries about Money — A Catholic Perspective, by Gregory S. Jeffrey (OSV, 2010).

What you’ll be getting is:  A book about how to develop a healthy relationship with money.  This is not a book about how to write a budget.  It is not a book about whether to pay off your credit card or your student loan first, or which kind of retirement account to have.  There are other books about that, and they are worth your time. I like those books.  I am a firm believer in the message of [many of] those books.  But this book is more important.

–> If you don’t have a healthy relationship with money, you will never be able to manage it well.

You might be able to accumulate it.  You won’t be able to live well with it.

And conversely: No matter how diligent and prudent and immpeccably sensible you are, it is possible that you just won’t have much money.  Life can be hard.  There is something about your relationship with money that matters much more than your bank balance. And this is what the book is about.

Is this book too hard for me?  No.  Very readable.  Lots of funny stories.  Good candidate for a book club or a parish study group, because it is approachable, friendly, encouraging, and a quick read.

Is this book protestant-friendly?  I think so.  It’s a catholic book, for sure.  Talks about things like “The Church” and “The Catechism”.  But I can’t recall anything that a non-catholic would find objectionable.

But I’m money master, and I have the 401K to prove it.  Surely you don’t mean I, too, should read this book??  Actually, yeah. That ‘buy’ recommend is across the board.  Because though the topic is money, the topic is really your spiritual life and your relationship with God.  If you have a great handle on money, this book is exceedingly helpful in showing you how to take the principles you are using without knowing it when it comes to cash, and applying them to other areas that you do struggle with.

(In keeping with sound financial principles, make that a “borrow” or “beg” recommend, if you don’t have the cash on hand.)

Can I skip around and stuff?  I don’t recommend it.  And I don’t usually say that.  Read it from page 1 forward, you will get the most out of it that way.  BUT, it is so chock full of useful tidbits, that I, the reviewer, can just randomly open anywhere, and find nice review-quality quotes.  Like this:

The notion of trading pleasure for joy works particularly well for almsgiving.  Money can provide a certain amount of personal pleasure, and that can be a good thing.  But the pleasure that comes from spending money is different than the joy of giving it away . . .  to help another person — to provide food, clothing, shelter, education — is a joy that lingers. (p. 116)

Or this:

To believe that every success is motivated by a heart filled with greed is to expose the envy in your own (p. 40).

And this:

God intervenes in our lives constantly.  Not in the sense that he forces: love does not impose.  Rather, we are offered a never-ending series of invitations that await our cooperation.  Even though burdened with self-deception, we can hope to learn humility, because we are aided from on on high. (p.6o).

And one more I really like, and then I promise to quit:

Imagine if we replaced the language of “social justice” with that of “personal justice”.  What if, instead of speaking of “unjust social structures”, we examined “unjust personal behaviors’?  Again, that is the proper starting point.  Society is made up of individuals.  To have any hope of changing social structures, we need individuals willing to embrace their own call to holiness.

–> FYI on this last one: Jeffries is not arguing that we should ignore problems that are properly dealt with at the governmental level.  Read it and see — in fact there is a great story about how the homestead laws of the 19th century had a very powerful — negative — structural impact on North Dakota farm life.  But yes, if it is your opinion that other people’s money should be spent to relieve the poor, but your own wallet is clamped shut, then indeed he will take you to task in no uncertain terms.

***

So that’s the book.  Get one of your own.  Courtesy of our very patient sponsor The Catholic Company, who reminds me  to remind you that they are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.

I also see that The Catholic Company is . . .

STILL Accepting new applicants:

With the completion of our new review book ordering and reporting system, we are now capable of handling more reviewers.  You are welcome to invite other bloggers to join in the fun.  You can find info on joining at
http://www.catholiccompany.com/content/Catholic-Product-Reviewer-Program.cfm

So if your book appetite dwarfs your book budget, sign up.  Great program.  [And FYI, even though I keep ending up with books I really like, they want you to post honest reviews.  I just happen to honestly like this one.]

Audio books; not-audio books.

Few quick links this morning before I attempt to resume school after the Spring Break That Would Not End.

My Audio School .com Recommended by a friend of mine, who uses it for her daughter who struggles with reading.   It’s a well-organized compilation of audio books of particular use to homeschoolers and other educators.  The free resources are useful, and my friend tells me that if you have a need for lots and lots of audio resources, it is worth paying for the subscription.

On the topic of audio books, Christian Audio’s free download this month looks sorta interesting.  It’s free, you know?  I downloaded The Hiding Place last month, and I guess I signed up for notifications?  Which is handy, because they reminded me today there was a new book up.  For free.  Otherwise have not been receiving much spam from them (none that I recall, but I have a fast-acting delete key, so I might have supressed the memory).  Reputable source, seems to me.

***

On the topic of non-audio books: The Catholic Writers’ Guild blog is pretty much put together now.   This morning Walt Staples is up for his monthly humor column, and the topic is writing and cats.  So you know where that’s going.  The blog address, by the way, is this:

http://blog.catholicwritersguild.com/

And you have to type that exactly, no “www”, or something weird happens.  Just so you know.

FYI my affiliation with the blog is that the important people at the guild saw me saying it would be nice to have a blog, and they pounced.  So my job is to line up writers.  If you are a (dues paid) member who has something 500 words or less and in some way related to catholic writing and publishing, you know where to find me.   Current schedule is:

  • Sunday pm/Monday am: Prayer with Mike Hays – post your requests in the combox.
  • Mondays: Monthly columns by guild members on the topics they love.  Current line-up is:  Humor; Gardening; Teens & the Faith; Self-publishing & e-books.  Need someone to fill that 5th Monday that pops up every quarter or so.
  • Tuesdays: Beginning Writers.  Or Karina Fabian says something friendly and encouraging, Or I write about editing.  If you have seen the pen of death in action, you already know what I’m going to write.  [Hint: It’s not about grammar.  You knew that.]
  • Wednesdays: Sarah Reinhard has been writing a column on blogging and related topics.  I’d like to find some other volunteers to join the Wednesday rotation, and I’d like the focus to be on everything related to writing and the internet.  In case that interests you.
  • Thursdays & Fridays: CWG Officers write about officer-y things. –>  I’m looking for someone to do a regular member news column.  If you’ve always wanted to be a gossip columnist and you are a member of the guild (easy to do), there’s a gig waiting for you.  Your name in lights.  Meanwhile, members with news just have to e-mail me and then I post it.  So you see why we need someone better than that.
  • Saturdays: John Desjarlais on writing catholic fiction.  So far I think this one is my favorite column.  Don’t let the other writers know. (Despite Blogger’s evil attempts to thwart him.  I don’t love blogger either.  But it’ll do.)

So that’s what there.  Because you needed more blogs to read, I’m sure.  Happy Monday.

More language stuff – Audio Bibles

Free audio bibles, in about a zillion languages.  Download as an MPS, or scroll down to the bottom and listen online.   Mighty mighty handy if you are studying a foreign language.  Or just wish to amuse yourself.

***

Funny story, and I can’t be the only one:  So I found that link via Gwenn Mangine, the very down-to-earth evangelical missionary in Haiti.  I go take a look at the bible site, click a selection to listen to, and then flip back to Google Reader to see what else she has to say.  Click on the next unread post, and read this:

I once read a comment by Lady Abbess Benedict Duss, OSB to the effect that the chant in Latin was the most effective and most complete and transcendent prayer of praise outside of the mass. I don’t doubt it.

And I thought: Really?  I had no idea she was such a fan of Latin Chant!  What do you know?!

What you know, though, is that it was the Anchoress who said that.  I had two different windows with Reader open, and I’d unwittingly clicked on the other one.

–> Happens all the time.  I think I’m reading one blog, but I’ve actually clicked on a different one.  They all look the same in Reader.  And I’m thinking, “Wow, what an interesting thing for that writer to say . . .”

Really tests your ideas, when you don’t have the context of who is saying it, and you have to judge the ideas on their own merit.  Google Reader needs a ‘shuffle’ button.  Would help the brain, I feel sure.

 

Books for people willing to be happy

Ooh I’m so excited.  Look what I got today:

 

Walked into church this morning feeling a little rumpled and not quite myself, and who had set up shop in the narthex? My favorite local catholic bookstore.  Which is sort of like running into the ice cream truck, Santa Claus and your best friend all at once.  Happy happy.  Tons of cool stuff on display, but I had to stop looking after I spotted Manalive and Julie Davis’s book.  Doesn’t do to spend too much on books when the spouse is so very nearby.

***

So, about the book. (Happy Catholic’s — not the other one by the other happy catholic, because I haven’t read it yet, plus probably you have):

Apparently I have this secret fear that my favorite internet authors will write bad books.  I thought Eric Sammon’s book would be too hard for me, because he is so much smarter than me.  Not so.  I was sort of nervous about Julie Davis’s Happy Catholic book for the same reason.

I was double nervous about the Happy Catholic book because it is inspirational. And sometimes inspirational-genre books have heart-warming stories about boys named Johnny who teach their parents important lessons about The True Meaning of Christmas, and then the mother dog who sacrifices her life to save the puppies and three orphaned children . . . you know what I mean.  One takes ones chances.

Julie, on the other hand, tackles questions like: Why does Han Solo deserve our attention?  How shall we rank Oprah, Miss Manners, and Jesus?  And is it possible Monty Python is more catholic than we realized?  Even in The Life of Brian? Plus lots of Fr. Benedict Groeschel quotes, so that pretty well settles it.

Four-and-some reasons this one is a keeper:

  • It’s reliable.  Solid catholic thinking, neither to the right nor to the left.
  • Written for ordinary catholics.
  • You don’t have to read the whole thing.  You just open to a random page.  Better than a magazine.
  • It’s entertaining.  So you’ll probably mean to read just one quote-n-meditation, but then stick around for the next one.  Worse things could happen you know.

What I like most: Julie grapples with popular culture head-on.  Lots of quotes from popular books, TV shows, movies.  And she doesn’t always agree! Sometimes, there’s a quote that sounds good, the kind of thing that someone says at a dinner party and everyone’s nodding and agreeing with it, and you want to say something very uncharitable because really even though it sounds so wise, it’s just drivel.   Julie takes quotes like that and answers them directly:  What’s the underlying truth?  What’s the lie?  What’s a catholic to do with that sentiment?

–>  For this reason, I think this is a great book to keep lying around in reach of teenagers.  It’s a textbook on critical thinking in disguise.  Oh and a sermon or 200.  And a lot of Wizard of Oz.  With an index.

I give it an I’ll-think-you’ll-be-pretty-happy-with-it Recommend.

 

 

 

Lent-o-rama: Slubgrip; Sardines

1. Slubgrip.

You may have been wondering:  What could cause a person who doesn’t post ads on her blog, to suddenly post an ad on her blog?

And you would not have been far off, if you thought, “She just wanted that cool-loookin’ gargoyle image.”  Except that she hadn’t seen the gargoyle image until after she wrote to Fr. L saying she’d be happy to post his ad.

Very puzzling, isn’t it?  The solution to the mystery is this: The Gargoyle Code is a really good book.  And your hostess likes to promote really good books, because, well, the more good books people buy, the more good books publishers will print, and thus the more good books your hostess will find crowding the shelves of her favorite local Catholic bookstore.

Blatant self-interest.  And now, in a fabulous wish come true, Father Longenecker has written yet more gargoyle-y fiction goodness.  You can read this week’s episode here. And then you will know why you should buy his book.  Which you can do by clicking the ad in the sidebar, or by visiting your favorite local catholic bookstore.

 

2. Sardines.

This is not usually a food blog, which is strange given how much I like the stuff.  But as many of my readers eat, and a few of them cook, why shouldn’t we go off topic now and again?

Now is the time for my older sister and all other people who don’t like seafood to depart by clicking on one of the fine links in the sidebar.  Many of them contain no horrid accounts of eating things that used to swim.

Anyway, here’s the story:  SuperHusband points out to me, a person who eats tuna straight from the can, that anchovies and sardines are superior in every way.   Insert list: health, environment, mercury . . . you begin to get the picture of the moral superiority that can be had by purchasing the flat rectangular tin instead slightly taller round tin.

How could I resist such an opportunity?  I cannot be upstaged in the food-virtue department by my own spouse, can I?

So I go buy the stuff on the next grocery trip, and stick it in the cupboard where the tuna used to sit.

And then a couple weeks later, I get really really hungry, on a Friday when my normal non-lenten penance of staying off the internet has once again spectacularly failed and not eating meat seems much simpler, and we are all about light penances here, and in a fit of braveness I open the anchovies.

Here is the part where you laugh.  Because, you who know anything about anchovies (as your hostess did not), knows that one does not eat them straight from the tin as one might do with tuna.

So now I have this open tin of anchovies, moral superiority on the line, and no, I can’t just give them to the cat.  She is a small cat.  And the dog will just get indigestion.  And anyway, giving the pets expensive human food is no way to one-up the spouse.

But here’s what I discovered: You can cook with the stuff. And it’s good!  Convenient!  Useful!  Tasty!

Now all the readers who already know how to cook with sardines and anchovies may quit laughing at me and click on a link in the sidebar.

Also, all readers who can boil pasta and have three Joy of Cooking recipes you can make, but you don’t really know how to cook yet, because let’s admit it, “winging it” in the kitchen is a skill one builds over time, you should just maybe consider the sidebar too.  Because the potential for disaster and ridicule is quite high any time a can of tiny, strongly-flavored fish is involved.

*******

Now, to the empty internet, here’s what I figured out:

VERY IMPORTANT:  Purchase the sardines or the anchovies “in oil”. Not the one in mustard sauce or something.  Just oil.  Fish in oil.  That’s all you want.  Two ingredients. (Plus salt or whatever.  But no delightful surplus condiment flavors.)

Now you’ve got the proper tin in hand.  You know the part of the recipe at the very beginning, where you put oil in the bottom of the pan and saute your garlic or onions or ginger or whatever it is that needs to be sauteed first of all?

Instead of the butter or oil, just dump the whole tin of fish right into the bottom of the pan. Use that as your cooking oil for that sauteing step.  The fish will naturally get diced/shredded in the process of sauteeing your vegetables.  Then proceed with the recipe as normal.

MORE VERY IMPORTANT:  If you don’t like how fish tastes, don’t cook with fish.  This is not one of those “how to sneak seafood into the recipe” tricks.  This method gives the recipe a light seafood-taste, akin to say a crab recipe, or adding fish sauce to your curry.  Depth, complexity, and all the moral superiority for which you had hoped, but in a seafood-y way.

What it’s good for:

  • Recipes that call for ‘fish sauce’.  Think of certain thai recipes, curries, etc.
  • Soups that either already seafood-y, or that would like to be converted.  With the caveat that say your spouse really loves oyster stew, that does not mean he loves anchovy-oyster stew.  Don’t over-complicate recipes that want to be simple.  Use bacon drippings for the oyster stew, your spouse will thank you.
  • Pasta sauce!  Red sauce if you like, but this makes a great base for a vegetable-parmesan sauce, and maybe use up the last little bit of the cream leftover from the vichyssoise.

If you use anchovies, plan around the saltiness. You will not need to add the usual amount of salt or soy sauce to your recipe. Also, this is a good time to balance the intensity of the anchovies with something sweet and something sour (lime, vinegar, etc.)  Sardines are milder, so you season more or less like you would have if you’d just made the recipe the normal way.

Happy Lent.  Does it count as a penitential if you are looking forward to the new recipes?

 

Zombie Book Head’s Up

I suppose nearly everyone who reads here also reads at Happy Catholic, but if not, there’s a favorable review just posted for Karina Fabian’s new zombie-killer book.  In addition to being a friendly person who goes above and beyond to promote Catholic writers, Karina has a great sense of humor.  I’ve read one of her Dragoneye PI books, and found it very entertaining.  So there you go – Mardi Gras reading recommendations.

PS: Zombie book is not explicitly catholic, so suitable for general audiences who might not be comfortable with a super-catholic-y book.